Swine flu

I missed my ride home from New York with the missions team.

I was digging around in the dumpsters when they left. Have you ever been to New York? You would not believe how well you can eat from New York dumpsters. I was preoccupied and they pulled out without me. Maybe I should have let Pastor Paul know I was there. He probably would have packed me in his suitcase and made sure I got home safely. But, after riding in a suitcase to Hawaii and back, I wasn't anxious to repeat the experience.

Oh, that's right. I need to get back on topic.

I needed to find a way home. Feasting in New York is fun, but there's no place like home.


I met a pilot who had his own plane. I told him my story-how I was stuck in New York with no way to get home. He offered to fly me home, since he was heading west. I gladly accepted.

When we were ready to take off, he climbed into the cockpit and I followed. It was almost as claustrophobic as riding in a suitcase. I decided to ride outside instead.

He circled low and dropped me off close to the Lapeer airport. Next time, I'm using a parachute.

I'm beginning to think pigs weren't meant to fly.

Ever since I got back to Lapeer, I haven't been feeling well. I think it might be that "swine flew" that they keep talking about on the news.

I'm sure it couldn't be food poisoning from that beef barbeque I ate in New York. Wait, how do I know it was beef?

Ode to Kay

I once had a mother,
Now I have another.

She's married to Pastor Paul,
I've hardly seen her since last fall.

My first mother nuzzled me with her snout,
My new mother misses me, I have no doubt.

I'll miss my mother until my dying day,
But I'm so glad to know that now I have Kay.

Happy Mother's Day, Kay!

National Day of Prayer

I heard our church was hosting a National Day of Prayer event. I wanted to attend, and maybe get a chance to see Pastor Paul and the family.



I guess I didn't understand.

I thought National Day of Prayer meant I could come anytime, all day. So I did. Come anytime, that is.

Turned out it was just God and me when I went into the church to pray. He listened to me, even though I was alone.

Aren't you glad He'll listen to you, too?

Did you know

that tomorrow, April 24, is National Pigs in a Blanket Day?



I've bundled up appropriately for the occasion and it's got me thinking.

Wouldn't something like, oh, say, January 24 be a better choice?

Happy Easter!

I tried. I really tried.

I so wanted to spend Easter in my home church.



I made it home late on Saturday night. I crashed for the night, intending to be up bright and early for church.

Well, probably not bright and early. But certainly in time for the worship service.

I forgot all about daylight savings time. Did that start today or something?

When I got to church, the furniture was all moved around. I went to the front, hoping there had been communion and I'd be able to take the sacraments to my comfort.

All I saw were plants that I think might be toxic to pigs, and plastic eggs. I know from experience that those aren't very tasty.

Thankfully, I was invited out for lunch.

I arrived at my hosts' home and admired the lovely table setting, especially a yummy looking centerpiece.

They didn't have a chair high enough for me to reach the table so they invited me onto the table to eat.

After the blessing, I headed straight for those flowers. I think pink flowers are the most flavorful, don't you?

Imagine my shock and horror when I rounded the vase, looking for a good spot for munching.

There was...oh, I'm not sure I can even say it...a...HAM!

I hated to eat and run but I grabbed a couple of those flowers and was on my way.

Although I've always lived rather frugally, I've once again decided to get a job so I have a little cash on hand.

In other words, sometimes urban foraging leaves me a little hungry.



Judging by the dust on this cash register, they don't do much business here.

I sure hope my paycheck doesn't bounce.

It's Party Time!

Happy 50th Birthday, Pastor Paul!